"Hi honey. I'm home for a quick lunch."
"Cool - let he heat ya up some corn dogs."
"Um, sweetie? Why is there three coffee cups here in the sink? Did the neighbor lady come over for coffee?"
"Oh, uh, no - no one came over."
"So why is there three coffee cups? I see the ones we used this morning and then the chipped one with the silly ghost is in here too. No big deal, just wondering why there is an extra."
"Ok! Ok! You got me! As soon as the kids got on the bus this morning I came back and put two scoops of Friendly's French Vanilla ice cream in that cup. And then I poured chocolate syrup all over it and I even put some crunched up pecans on it and I almost put one of those sweet maraschino cherries on it too, but I resisted the urge. And then I sat on the couch and watched Ellen and ate my ice cream at nine in the freakin' morning. Are you happy now?"
"You ate ice cream at nine in the morning? And since when do you watch Ellen?"
"Yes and I'm sorry but we are all out of Grape-Nuts and I needed breakfast."
"But ice cream?"
"Yes. Please don't tell the kids."
"Oh, I'm gonna tell them and just so you know, you have officially lost your Good Mommy status and all related privileges. For the whole weekend."
Well, the above conversation didn't actually happen, but I did eat ice cream for breakfast, and then I imagined the above and I felt so guilty that I washed and dried and put away all the evidence . Don't tell!!
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4 comments:
Don't worry. Your secret will stay just between us.
And if that conversation ever starts to happen, just tell him that the other coffee cup is from the new, single neighbor who stops by occasionally while your husband's at work. He'll be so relieved to find out you only ate ice cream!
Man! I wish I had thought of that!! Where are those snappy comebacks when you need them! Oh - and later I ended of fessing up (because I realized he would read the blog and then what?) and you know what? He told on me to the kids!! So now, for the past two days I have been badgered with "Can I have ice cream for breakfast? 'Cause you did and that's not fair."
Repeat after me, "When you are ___ years old, you can have ice cream for breakfast, too."
Although, I confess that once, when my husband was out of town with my little one, my older daughter and I had dessert for dinner. We had pizza for dessert.
In Austin, there was an ice cream store with the slogan, "Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first." I think that should be a way of life!
I'm feeling inspired to eat ice cream for breakfast. I recently started a hot chocolate diet which simply means that I no longer eat a large bowl of ice cream after dinner but rather drink hot chocolate to satisfy my sweet tooth. Now I can replace breakfast with ice cream and eat cereal for lunch. Eat a big dinner and it all works out. It does, doesn't it? Eating eggs and bacon for dinner suddenly feels normal.
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