To my husband

Dear husband,

I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the last mostly blissful 10 years of marriage. You have patiently tolerated my various obsessions (last count - 112 teapots) and my sometimes neurotic behavior (I don't know why our clothes need to be hung in the order of Newton's color circle, they just do. It makes sense to me, and admit it, so much easier to find a purple shirt when you need one.). Thank you for telling me I am beautiful when I wear my favorite sweats for the third time in a week. Thank you for making the coffee in the mornings and taking the dog out for her morning pee. You know I am not a morning person, and these small acts of kindness really make a difference for me.

Also, I would like to thank you for your willingness to "play along" as I have gone from being a staunch feminist to a (almost) traditional housewife. When we met I was determined to work as hard and earn as much as any man could. I was insistent that we split the housework down the middle and even kept a log of which of us of did what and how long it took to do it (and you don't know this, but I also kept a mental log of how often I had to re-do your chores in order to get it right - but I love you!). Somehow, with the birth of each of our children, it made more sense for me to take on more of the domestic responsibilities and for you to be the breadwinner (even though up until, like, four months ago I made more than you, but hey, that is OK. Really. It is. I am fine with it. No problems here at all.). And so now, I cook. I clean. I do the parent volunteer crap. I shop (with a vengeance I might add - I LOVE the mall here). And I do the laundry.

The laundry. See, this is what I would really like to talk to you about. I don't mind doing all the washing, drying, folding, etc.... In fact, as I mentioned before, I really prefer to be the one to put the clean clothes away so that each piece can be placed in the right spot. But here is the thing. When we discussed all the changes moving to New England would bring, Eric, a former Main-er (is that what you call people from Maine?) suggested that layering our clothes would be key to staying warm. And he was right - that is a helpful trick. But do you really, I mean, really have to wear four shirts a day?? Every day??? That is a lot of laundry. Not to mention, when you take off the four shirts at the end of your day, you have a habit of taking them off all in one piece. And since you don't wear, like four blue shirts on one day, but more like a white t-shirt, an orange long sleeve t-shirt, a blue sweatshirt, all under a brown sweater, separating all these colors for washing is, you know, a big deal for me.

Don't get me wrong. I know it is cold here. And I know that you are outside for like five minutes at a time because of your job. And I want you to stay warm. But maybe since two of the shirts that you wear each day don't actually come in contact with your skin or the outside elements, they can be recycled/reused the following day. Don't make that "eww-gross!" face. Think about it. Those two middle shirts are not dirty. They can be your middle shirts for at least one more day, maybe even two. Now I know this is going to require some extra work on your part - you will need to undress one shirt at a time at the end of the day and set your middle shirts to the side. But this will be good for you and the environment - not to mention our marriage.

I am willing to show my appreciation for your extra effort. If we can just try this out for say, three months, I will let you hang your clothes any way you want - color spectrum be damned! Oh, and also, I will make you your cookie of choice every single weekend. Even oatmeal cookies with no raisins.

All my love,
your wife